Why I enjoy writing ;
I came into writing when I was entering middle school. At that age I thought it was the only kind of truth. I was able to express myself without the embarrassment of everyone else seeing my deepest thoughts. I could write about anger. I could write about pain. I was able to write about anything. I could even write about happiness. It was as if all of my thoughts could escape from my mind and onto a piece of paper.
I would just sit down with a piece of pencil and paper. The next thing I knew, that feeling I had when I started writing would go away. I was no longer angry, sad or even happy. I was content. I was able to release how I was feeling without the expense of someone else knowing, thus making me feel less vulnerable. As I recall, I first discovered writing when I was in the sixth grade. Minutes pass after class starts and I get a poke on the back from someone who passes me a note. The note said, “who do you like?”. I thought to myself before responding and wrote down two names. Not one, but two. Little did I know, the note was from a little boy who liked me too. It must have been surprising to him when he opened the note and not just see his name, but another little boys name too. Quite funny now that I think about it.
I felt like because I was in foster care, having no family, and no one to talk to, the only thing I could do was write. Ivan was my first crush. Obviously I was shy and couldn’t talk to just anyone about it. At the time i thought, “my foster mom wouldn’t understand” and “I haven’t heard from my mom or older sister in months, who can I go to?”.
Writing has naturally been my escape. Of course I stopped for a while due to my journals being exploited. I felt like nothing was sacred. Then I would start again, lose my mojo, and well… here I am.
In my eyes, my writing was the only thing that I had left. Everything was taken from me while growing up. I had nothing. My family, the friends I’d make, my brothers and sisters. They were gone in the blink of an eye. No one can take my thoughts though. No one can take away the hurt and happiness that has lead me to writing. I enjoy writing because I feel like I have a story to tell, and even though I haven’t gotten into full detail about it, its still something thats mine. It’s something that can never be violated or can never be taken. I am allowing the world to read my deepest thoughts, and thats okay because that is my choice. When writing from the heart, it’s the most precious thing a person can do. When you’re reading a poem, you think about how crazy it is to be able to read those three simple lines and think to yourself, “I can completely relate to that”. It’s crazy to think that in this world we all believe that we are so alone, yet no one just ever really writes about it. I often read about fame, and the disasters, but I don’t often find stuff in regards to the horrible things that have come to be known as “normal”. I’ve learned to take what my “normal” is, and put it on a piece of paper, or computer and let it out into the world.