Twenty-One

Twenty-one years later and here I am.

I am fathomed by the idea of knowing how much that I have been through.

Most people say that I’m strong. Perhaps I am, but that is not what I notice when seeing my reflection in the mirror.

I am not strong, but I do acquire the strength of resilience in order to keep me going.

The “Why me” “This isn’t how is was supposed to be, what did I do to deserve this life, is there something wrong with me?” followed by, “Why aren’t I good enough” and the consistent cross-examination of what I could have done differently are no more.

I have spent the majority of my life questioning my past, and thinking about how things could have been avoided when I should have had my eye on the prize; the future.

Just because I was dealt an unpleasant hand doesn’t mean that I have to spend the rest of my life settling for it.

Twenty-one years later and I’m still here.

I am tough. I am worthy. I am now in charge of what happens to me.

I have learned to see the beauty in the storm. I can learn to embrace the shimmer in the light.

Twenty-one and still alive. I never would have thought….