I have so much pain that I hold onto.

I just want to let go.

I want to let go of this life, and I want to understand what it truly means to be happy. I want to live a life of innocence and know what it means and feels like to be protected in the arms of the ones who loves you so dear. 

But I hold onto this hurt like a security blanket. I grasp onto it when I can feel it slipping away because it’s the only real thing that I can truly feel. 

This pain has become an addiction. 

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