I’m an overthinker.. I think that if I can have a set plan I’ll follow through but the reality is I overthink every little detail on what could or couldn’t go wrong.
I’m a lover. I love with every bone in my aching body. I feel with every breath that I take. I wish it wasn’t so, because maybe I could at least learn to have a wall up to prevent me from getting hurt, but I want to feel the warmth of your soul connecting to mine.
I spend so much time depicting what flaws I so graciously carry. I think about the choices of my mother and father. if I was an ounce of lovable, wouldn’t they be around? If I was an ounce of lovable, wouldn’t that one lady hold back those punches? Or maybe she asked me to do something and I didn’t listen. So maybe I deserved it?
You don’t heal from scars, and perhaps that’s why they never fully go away. They’re there to remind you of your experience. I know mine do. I look in the mirror and I see someone who wants to heal. I see someone who learns to stand tall even when she wants to crawl in a corner and scream, “why aren’t I enough”.
I am a lover because I know what it is like to feel, to know, to be so unlovable